Why Powerful Questioning Is Important In Coaching

You must have seen numerous movies where the coach makes the sports star run another lap, though the latter is completely tired out. But he still does it and in the end he wins the all important race/fight/match. Or watched a movie in which the actor was superb? The acting was perfect only after several takes and after the director was satisfied with the acting. The role of the coach is similar to the director, and the process of getting there is the role of questioning.

The coach asks challenging questions which compels you to look for answers within yourself. Your coach is not a mentor or psychologist, nor is he your friend. He is someone who you have hired to help you overcome certain problems you are facing in life or work. Or to discover something within you which is stopping you from your desired goals. The reasons can be discovered only by probing questions by the coach.

A seemingly simple question such as ‘Why?’ will push you to think, help you get to the root of the issue. This may not happen in one session. The coach might ask you to explain your idea of success, why you are proud of your achievements, why have you stalled in life, what is stopping you, and why you think you have not achieved what you think you can achieve.

While answering these and other questions, you will come across some harsh truths. But only when you face the truths about yourself, will you be able to move forward. Your coach will ask you challenging questions, even if he knows it may be uncomfortable for you, but you should understand that it is his job.

To learn something new, or to change the way you have been doing things, you have to unlearn what you know. It is true even about yourself, and powerful questions have to be asked for the right answers to emerge. The function of a coach is very unlike that of a mentor, who can advise or suggest. But a coach is there to help you reach the answers yourself, only then you can have ownership about your ideas and gain confidence.

In order to make the positive choices for yourself, you must have the right insights. To gain insights, you have to look at your situation in an objective manner. When you are immersed in a particular situation or phase, you may be blinded as you would be looking at it only from your point of view. The answers your coach demands from you can help you gain a different perspective, which can totally alter the way you have been handling things till now. Thus, questions lead to clarity of thought and generate the necessary action.

As a coach, you have to ask tough questions, even though your client may be resisting your questions (which you might sense from their body language). You must understand that your questions will push your client out of his/her comfort zone. But you have to keep going, as your effort is to help your client gain confidence and trust their own decision making ability. You have to resist the impulse to tell him what to do, as your client has to arrive at actions themselves.

You are the one who your client is depending on to be better equipped for the future. So even if you sense that your questions are being received with some amount of resistance, you have to still keep going. Resistance from clients is natural, as it is difficult for anyone to accept or take a closer look at themselves. You are questioning their whole existence, which is actually quite shattering.

Once your client has some positive breakthroughs, which will definitely happen, you will gain his/her trust and confidence. Then the Q&A sessions will become easier as the client will notice that honest discussions have led to positive developments for him.

This will develop self-confidence in your client, which is just what he needs. Your unquestioning and non-judgmental acceptance of their answers will give him the validation he needs, and motivate him to reach his targets.

Be sure to ask questions which show that you are truly invested in your client, instead of asking ‘fishing’ questions, the answers to which you already know! The questions should have the caliber to explore, have the freedom to move from one subject to the other if need be.

Powerful questioning is a tool which will result in previously unknown facts and lead to startling insights.

And just as the Phoenix rises from the ashes, so also will a confident person arise from the barrage of powerful questions and take life-changing decisions.